Friday, March 21, 2014

We have moved to our own official website!!!

We put on our big girl pants and made a real-life website... and it's all fancy and stuff. So click on over to 

and check us out. Make sure to LIKE our Facebook page too!

And as always, thanks for visiting us. We truly do appreciate it!


Terri Jean & Caitlin

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Guest Post: Granny Cougar Goes to Church

Greetings from South Eastern Ohio, I am Granny Cougar.

I do stand-up comedy. Although I am also considered disabled, I once traveled all over the U.S.A. I now am only able to do it on a local level, but the need to write and perform has never failed in desire. While on stage, I portray an older show girl who wants all the hot young men in the audience. 

In real life I live with two gay roommates, and my boyfriend, who is older than I and has never moved past kissing. One really could hardly consider me to be a true cougar. It is however, funny, when young girls from an audience come up to me prior to a performance and beg me to “pick”, on their boyfriends. Most of my jokes are extremely for an adult crowd. When we have family gatherings they often times want me to do something. It is a scramble to figure out how to figure out how to present adult materials to a born again Christian based family. 

I was not raised around any of these people. I was raised by an old lady which escaped from a German concentration camp. As you could guess I was brought up a Jew. She has been dead for many years now. Since then I have been putting forth the effort to re-connect to my “family”. 

My birth Mother sits in the front row of her church, and has for well over thirty years. She is now in her late 70’s. When they sing, she gets up and dances. Her church is crazy like the ones you might see on television! So here I am this little Jewish American Princess (JAP) and I thought, “I should go so when she passes on I could say I danced with her when she was old.” The first time I went I could hardly sleep the night before. Mother told me that people speak in tongues there and so I did not what to expect. As you could imagine I had plenty of racing thoughts. 

That next morning my ass was dragging. During Sunday school they asked if they had anybody new and I got a jab from my beloved Mother who really did not want to raise me. So I stood up like hit with a cattle prod. Next, more people came in. While the real service started once more they asked was there anybody new, and that of course meant a new poke. I stood up and there were about eight people with me. 

If I do not have enough sleep, I can nod off most any place. The vocals from the choir was fast and she and I danced. Exhausted I set down. They sang next, slow and angelic songs. They were more like lullabies. Next, her pastor began his sermon; in the middle of it a gal jumped up and started to speak like gibberish or some sort of baby talk. Next, some man joined in and told us all what it was meant. 

I was very outside of a normal place of worship, and very confused. I admit I did start to nod off while everyone began some sort of strange prayer request thing they do partake in every Sunday. The next thing I hear is, “Come Forward!” mind you I am seated in the front row so I cannot see behind me. I thought, “Oh good here we go again.” So I took about three steps outward turned and none of the others were with me. Somewhere in my sleepy state I missed the fact that this was an invitation to be saved and join their church. 

With my Mother beaming with pride, people from every direction came to put their hands on me! I have a mental illness and part of it is social phobia. Can you imagine what this was doing to me? I began to cry and they took that to me I was in the spirit. Finally, and without trying to hurt anyone I said nicely, “Ok I’m good now I know the devil is a really bad thing and God is a really good thing please stop with the touching already! OY-VEY” 

So I am also a Pagan who sees light in many paths of faith. To recap kids, I’m a comic, Jew, Pagan, Smartass, Neo-Christian. I guess you could say, I’m a Pagan Ham Sam Witch.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

And The Winner Is....

The winner of our $10 Sephora Gift Card Giveaway is

(drum roll, please)

Ms. Charlene Patton! 

Charlene, if you're reading this, you subscribed to us via e-mail. We do have your e-mail address but would like to confirm it. Please get in touch with our editor, Caitlin, at or message us on the I Feel Delicious Facebook Page. 

Thanks so much for playing, everyone!

SexYOUality: The Hardest Decision

Photo by Leigh Temple - Used Under a Creative Commons License
This story starts and ends typically: I began with the shocking revelation of an extremely unplanned pregnancy and I ended with an empty, scraped  uterus and plenty of emotional baggage to boot. The body of the story, too, oozes with the all-too-familiar bad, sad and torrid details of a seismically unsound and ultimately fractured relationship.

   Often I try to recall what I did earlier in the day before I found out I was pregnant. Had I brushed my teeth that morning or had I forgotten? Did I put lipstick on? Had I done anything out of the ordinary or had I woken up and done the same thing as every other morning, oblivious to the fact that in mere hours I would be crying, shaking, wracking my brain for ways in which to make one of the biggest decisions of my life. 

But here and there are bits and pieces scattered throughout my own story that have clung to my very being ever since December 27 2009. It has been difficult to understand why even with the end result, the loss of what I would ever so dearly call my child, my baby, I cannot seem to lay to rest all my dreams of what she or he was and would have been.

As women we are directly exposed to pregnancy, giving birth, miscarriage,  having an abortion. Our bodies in each and every one of theses scenarios  births something; be it a live child or the eternal memories of a lost one. No  matter how different each is there is confusion, suffering, happiness and  devastating loss embroiled in our womanhood. Regardless of which way any of these experiences end there is something that comes out of it that will be carried forever.

When confronted with pregnancy and the overwhelming discovery that there is a growing, living, twisting being beginning to grow inside of you, life changes. For me, almost immediately I began to instinctively touch my stomach which was still flat, hiding all signs of what had begun to live  beneath my skin. My breasts hurt and the image of latching my son or  daughter onto my own flesh constantly appeared in my head. I dreamt of naming my daughter but feared that if she ever discovered the roots of her name she would look down on her mother for her poor taste in '90s films. 

I imagined her rolling her eyes and snapping her gum at me, reaching the point where my touch would embarrass her in public. I dreamt of the moment she would yearn once again for that touch, as I did for my own mothers, and would come and collapse into me, reimagining the way I carried her as a baby. One morning I started bleeding heavily. I remember feeling guiltily relieved; my own body had taken the reigns and was making what felt to be an insurmountable decision on my behalf. I had considered abortion -- I was 21, broke, pregnant while taking birth control and six months in to a relationship with a long-haired stoner (who subsequently sat in the abortion clinic waiting room reading a graphic novel, hungry for Taco Bell). But the moment I peed on a cheap looking white stick and saw one too many blue lines appear I felt pregnant. I felt like a mother.

Many people told me that I would fail as a parent. Most often they warned me against parenthood without a degree, a reliable job, owning my own home or the precise assurance that my life would run smoothly. When I began bleeding, thinking I was starting to lose parts and pieces of my child, I decided I would need to go for an abortive procedure. I scheduled an appointment at a private clinic one week later.

I arrived at the clinic with my mother, my boyfriend and my best friend. My mother couldn't quite hide her relief; her 21 year old daughter wouldn't be having a baby unexpectedly, without every "I" dotted and "T" crossed. My best friend was there for me, and my boyfriend for obligation and the free food that would be purchased on the drive home after my 11 week old  fetus had been sucked out from inside of me. I made my way into the back and had a very nice anesthesiologist attempt to administer twilight sedation into veins in my dehydrated feet, legs, arm, neck and hands. His name was Steve, he told me. He put his hand on my forehead to ask me if I was okay. I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. As I was waiting for Steve to get a vein the doctor, a brisk looking blonde woman who never introduced herself to me (perhaps there wasn't a good enough moment, seeing as I was strapped down to a table, tears streaming down my face) performed a vaginal ultrasound. I heard her say the pregnancy sac was "still" intact. Steve touched my forehead again.

I woke up some matter of minutes later. I stayed in a recovery room until the nurses felt I was ready to walk. I stumbled out into the office waiting room, wearing what I have since coined the "abortion robe". My mother, boyfriend and friend all stood at the same moment, sharing the same look of love/confusion/concern/discomfort and out we walked. People holding signs screamed, called me a murderer, asked me what it felt like to kill my baby so close to Christmas. We kept walking and made it to my mother's white luxury vehicle equipped with a beige, leather interior (I wondered and worried that I may leave parts of my dead child in between the seams). 

We started the car, pulled out of the abortion clinic parking lot. My mother asked if anyone was hungry. My boyfriend, the man who had impregnated me, touched my stomach, had told me he would love me, love us forever, offered that he was in the mood for tacos. We stopped at the drive through, my mother asked me if I wanted anything but I couldn't tell her that all I was wondering was where the pieces of my baby were. Was she or he in a trash can, wrapped in blue medical paper? I looked at the ultrasound the doctor had given me: my before and after. I saw a circular shape on the left hand side, my baby. On the right I saw nothing but a vast blackness; a terrifying night without a single star. I told my mother I was not hungry and 
we began our drive home.

About the Author: 

Mikaela Jensen-Roseman came into this world in 20 minute flat. To this day, her mother claims that may indicate something about her personality. Jensen-Roseman was born and raised in Philadelphia but made from a heart and body constantly yearning for travel and impulsive adventure. She's known for her ability to scold dogs for misbehavior, roadtripping, injuries involving metal fencing and peeing quicker than at least 95% of the remaining female population. You can get in touch with her via e-mail, or of course here on I Feel Delicious! 

Friday, February 14, 2014

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Fat Girl Fashion On A Budget: Lingerie for Valentine's Day

As a plus size model, if there's one thing I love more than lingerie it's cheap lingerie that fits my frame. There's an abundance of places out there for us larger ladies to get some stunning bedroom outfits (Hips and Curves and Curvy Girl Lingerie are the two that come to mind that I absolutely LOVE!) but these places can break the bank in an instant. If you're looking to play around with your style this Valentine's Day, either to surprise your lover or just feel like the princess you are and don't want to invest in something that you may find unflattering, spring for one of these cheap finds. 

Longline bras are totally retro and totally flattering on larger frames. Delicate and lacy numbers can look disproportionate and not provide a lot of support (although if you're dressing up for your partner instead of yourself, chances are it'll be on the floor before you ever NEED the support.) Long line bras also have the added advantage of sucking in any chub around your ribcage, making your waist look thinner by comparison. The wide straps on this make it appropriate for everyday wear, so it's not strictly a bedroom item, either. No slipping straps? That's a good thing. This piece from DebShops runs $17.90 and can be paired with your favorite black lace boyshort -or if you're daring, a thong or g-string. 

Show him (or her!) what she's getting with just a peek through the delicate mesh of this slip-style nightgown. In bright coral, it's flattering to a wide variety of skintones and the straight cut to the hips with a slight flair is flattering on a variety of figures. At $13.99, it's hard to pass this one up. 

Say you're feeling a little naughty but still want to look nice. At $17.95, this floral patterned lace teddy and matching stockings set from is just the ticket. It hugs your curves, shows off your cleavage and has sassy lace-up detailing at the bust. For a teddy and stockings, the price is great. 

Plus size burlesque-style corset and skirt from - $29.58

I cannot tell you how in love I am with this corset. It's got a bustle detail, so for larger girls without the hips or butt to proportion their bust, this is a great find. It's got a steel busk closure at the front, which is a good thing - you don't want that to snap. For the price, I wouldn't expect a quality corset with steel boning, though I can't say since I don't own this piece (yet!). It's more for play than for actual waist cinching. Still, you'll look fabulous whether you wear it for its own sake or as part of a saloon girl or steampunk roleplay for your lover. At $29.58, it's worth giving it a try. 

Pink plus size babydoll from - $29.99

If your style is more sweet than sexy, check out this pink babydoll from At $29.99, this simple design is guaranteed to give you lots of wear. Pair it with stockings and gloves for an elegant look, or just wear it to bed after you've changed your sheets (I'm not the only one who likes to shower and get dolled up just to roll around in new sheets, am I?). In a bubblegum pink, this piece screams "Sweet!" 

We want to hear from you. What's your favorite place to find plus size lingerie that doesn't break the bank? 

About the Author:

Caitlin Seida has been writing since 2006, with her work appearing on various websites including,,, and The Daily Puppy. A Jill-of-All-Trades, she splits her workday as a writer, humane society advocate and on-call vet tech. What little free time she has goes into pinup modeling, advocating for self-acceptance, knitting and trying to maintain her haunted house (really!). You can find her on Facebook, on Twitter, and of course here on I Feel Delicious!

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

What is Respect in a Romantic Relationship?

Eye Candy Girl Emily - Courtesy of Terri Jean Photography

By Barbara Alvarez

“R-E-S-P-E-C-T.” We’ve all heard that old Aretha Franklin tune. Mom and dad gave that song to me – in the form of a 45 rpm vinyl record when I was but a teen. (Now that you know my vintage ...) Aretha sang about respect and Tina Turner sang about “What’s Love Got to Do with It,” in her movie. (Turner wrote a book, then adapted the book into her movie, “What’s Love Got to Do with It,” referencing her years of isolation and abuse.)

Eye Candy Girl Brandi Reminding You To Respect Yourself!

Respecting Yourself 

Know what your self-worth is. “I’m always getting yelled at and put down. Why?” Could it be the message you’re putting out, even if you’re not aware you’re doing so? Before you can receive respect from others, you have to respect yourself.

You’re not truly better than others, but you do have worth in this world. With your circle of friends, family and coworkers, you should be communicating, “I am worthy. I know what I know.”
Nobody has the right to put their hands on you in anger, especially when you do not want that. When you communicate with others, they should respect you in word and deed. You are worth more than put-downs and swear words.

Respecting Your Partner

If you expect to be respected, you need to demonstrate respect to your romantic partner, as well as to coworkers, family and friends. When you’re angry at him, think before speaking. Yes, in the heat of the moment, blurting something out just to punish him feels good – but what about later?

Your words and actions act just like the sharpest knife in the drawer – they cut and hurt. It’s impossible to take them back. Throttle those words and say, “I need some time.” Walk away, go for a run or hit the punching bag. Once you’re calmer, come back and discuss the issue – rationally. 

Eye Candy Girl Natalie Communicating! 

Ways of Showing Respect

 Because you want to be respected, you need to be ready to show respect. After all, part of showing you’re worthy of respect means you need to give the same consideration. We’ve already covered careful word choice. Let’s cover a few other ways:

√ Respect his emotional and physical boundaries. These include his time, touching and honoring his need to be with others or by himself;

√ Be considerate, thoughtful and helpful;

√ Notice when he’s done the laundry or made dinner reservations for you. More than just 
“noticing,” speak up and say, “I appreciate this;”

√ Compromise. Give and take builds a relationship;

Establishing Your Expectations 

This takes place at the beginning of every relationship – or it should. Here’s a few ways of doing so:

√ Be honorable. Be where you say you’ll be and do what you say you’re going to do;

√ Understand your own self worth. This includes your body, feelings and opinions;

√ Practice good character. Earning respect is much easier;

√ Establish firm boundaries. Don’t make excuses for poor behavior, especially when they cause harm to you;

√ Give respect. If you can’t, why are you with him?

When you’re able to see yourself with respect, others sense this and are less likely to act against you. If they do, take appropriate action and cut them out of your life. In the words of Miss Abileen (“The Help”), “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” (Source)

Barbara Alvarez earned her journalism and mass communications degree in December, 2006 and has been writing professionally since that time.

Alvarez has written and self-published two books, one non-fiction and one fiction. The non-fiction is intended for a military spouse niche. This book is written under a pen name: Diana M. Lopez.

The fiction is intended for anyone who loves to read about strong men and stronger women who confront conflict even as they learn to adjust their beliefs about relationships and love.

Alvarez plans to write until she is very old – it is in her blood, along with crochet and cross stitch. She is the mother of two grown sons.

You can keep up with Barbara at her website, or follow her on Facebook.  Of course you can also keep an eye out here for more of her work on I Feel Delicious!

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